DV Awareness~ Lindsay Ann Burke Act

From the Associated Press:

RI Schools Required to Teach About Dating Violence

NORTH KINGSTOWN, R.I. - Ann Burke saw signs of trouble with her daughter's boyfriend.

He'd incessantly call her at night, keep her from her family, and, ultimately, physically abuse her during a tumultuous relationship that ended with her death three years ago.

Burke's 23-year-old daughter, Lindsay, may not have understood the dynamics of an abusive relationship, but her death is helping to ensure that other young people do.

A new law in Rhode Island called the Lindsay Ann Burke Act requires all public middle and high schools to teach students about dating violence in their health classes.

The initiative was spearheaded by Burke and her husband, Chris, who say schools should be obligated to teach teens the warning signs of abusive relationships and broach the subject head-on so victims feel empowered to get help and leave violent partners.

"If this could happen to her, this could happen to anyone," said Ann Burke, a health teacher who runs a memorial fund to raise money for dating violence workshops for parents and educators.

Read the rest of this article HERE.

This is an excellent act and I am glad to see that middle schools, not just high schools, are included in the education. When I was in junior high, I was already experiencing inappropriate behavior from boys including physical abuse (bruises on my wrists from being grabbed and forced when refusing to comply to demands regarding sexual touching), sexual abuse (incessant uninvited groping of my breasts by a boy on the school bus) and emotional abuse (threats of suicide/self-harm if I did not comply with demands for sexual stimulation)-- all of which left me bewildered, fearful and eroded my sense of self-worth. I can't believe that I was the only girl at my middle school who was experiencing these sorts of behaviors, especially considering the boys who were involved, who were quite popular.

WAYS TO IDENTIFY DATING VIOLENCE:

Dating violence is a pattern of controlling behaviors that one partner uses to get power over the other, and it includes:

• Any kind of physical violence or threat of physical violence to get control
• Emotional or mental abuse, such as playing mind games, making you feel crazy, or constantly putting you down or criticizing you
• Sexual abuse, including making you do anything you don’t want to, refusing to have safe sex or making you feel badly about yourself sexually

Early warning signs that your date may eventually become abusive:

Extreme jealousy Controlling behavior Quick involvement Unpredictable mood swings Alcohol and drug use Explosive anger Isolates you from friends and family Uses force during an argument

Shows hypersensitivity Believes in rigid sex roles Blames others for his problems or feelings Cruel to animals or children Verbally abusive Abused former partners Threatens violence

Does your boyfriend/girlfriend:

• Have a history of bad relationships or past violence; always blames his/her problems on other people; or blames you for “making” him/her treat you badly?
• Try to use drugs or alcohol to coerce you or get you alone when you don’t want to be?
• Try to control you by being bossy, not taking your opinion seriously or making all of the decisions about who you see, what you wear, what you do, etc.?
• Talk negatively about people in sexual ways or talk about sex like it’s a game or contest?
  

Do you:

• Feel less confident about yourself when you’re with him/her?
• Feel scared or worried about doing or saying “the wrong thing?”
• Find yourself changing your behavior out of fear or to avoid a fight?

Does your partner:

• Embarrass you with put-downs?

• Look at you or act in ways that scare you?

• Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?

• Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?

• Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?

• Make all of the decisions?

• Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?

• Prevent you from working or attending school?

• Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?

• Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?

• Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?

• Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?

• Force you to try and drop charges?

• Threaten to commit suicide?

• Threaten to kill you?

If you answered 'yes' to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.

More information on dating violence can be found at the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

October is DV Awareness Month

It seems that each October there is more and more promotion for breast cancer awareness and pink ribbon products are hugely prevalent everywhere one goes… but I, personally, would just like to take the time right now to let everyone know that OCTOBER IS ALSO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH.

DID YOU KNOW?

• One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.
• Females who are at the age of 20-24 are at the greatest risk for intimate partner violence.
• One in six women and one in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape.
• One in 12 women and one in 45 men will be stalked in their lifetime.
• An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
• The majority (73%) of family violence victims are female. Females were 84% of spousal abuse victims and 86% of abuse victims at the hands of a boyfriend.
• Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner.
• Domestic Violence is one of the chronically most under reported crimes. Only approximately one-quarter of all physical assaults, one-fifth of all rapes and one-half of all stalkings perpetuated against females by intimate partners are reported to the police.
  

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP?

• WEAR A PURPLE RIBBON AND TELL PEOPLE WHY YOU DO. Purple is the color for Domestic Violence Awareness. Wear purple ribbons to bring national awareness to the issues faced by battered women, men and their children.

• DONATE A PHONE. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence has partnered with the Wireless Foundation for over 7 years through the CALL TO PROTECT program which was created to provide victims of Domestic Violence who may encounter emergency situations with free cells phones for that use. The collection of deactivated cell and wireless phones for this purpose has literally saved hundreds of lives over the course of the partnership. In addition to phones being distributed for emergency use, proceeds from the sale of phones not utilized for emergency use help fund agencies that work to end violence in the home, such as the NCADV. NCADV would greatly appreciate your old cell phone– CLICK HERE if you would like to donate your used wireless phone.

• DONATE A CAR. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence & 1-800-CHARITY CARS: if you would like to donate a vehicle and have 100% of the proceeds used to support the NCADV, please CLICK HERE to access the 1-800-CHARITY CARS website.